Light

I am bored and mad.

I need some enlightenment.

I search for one. 

I look everywhere, nothing.

Then, I see You standing at the end of the bridge. 

I can’t see Your face because it’s so bright. 

I almost think You are a street light.

You say, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” 

I come to You.

I am still bored and occasionally angry to myself, but when I do, I remember Your words, and it gives me peace.

Thank you for being my source of light! 

Marriage Race: and the winner is…… 

Marriage is neither a competition nor a first-come first-served. No need to rush to get married even if all your friends are already married or getting married soon. 

No need to worry when people ask why you are still single. 

Marriage is a sacred union and is meant for a lifetime. 

Take your time and choose wisely. Choose someone who could bring out the best in you and will not walk away when both of you face difficulties. 

    
p.s. This picture is also posted on Instagram @1001diarycollections 

Too good to be true

I’ve always doubt with the power of love in the context of dating and/or marriage relationship. I even thought 99% of perfect-happy marriage relationship is too good to be true, and if someone has that percentage, that’s awesome! If you are into marriage relationship, I strongly suggest you to fully commit in the relationship from the beginning (when you are still dating) until the end, not just half of the relationship. If you aren’t sure, just steer clear from it. 

My doubt is derived from a series of observation. I’ve come to understand that once couple is officially married and later have children, their status is moved from married couple to marriage-family life. This new status is no longer about two responsible adults living under the same roof. This status requires them to actively maintain their relationships with multiple people (children, siblings, in-laws, grandparents, cousins, etc). The process in maintaining this complex relationship could be joyful for some couples, but it could be overwhelming or exhausting for other couples.

I suggest you to always have a positive thinking to maintain neutral- positive relationship within and outside your inner family. Remember, it’s start with you first! Then, you need to prioritize the well being of your inner family members above anything else, meaning you take a good care of your family, those who live in your house and have direct family relationship with you. Socializing with relatives in the form of dinner and/or group vacation on frequent or yearly basis is always good idea. The key of this socialization is to create stress-free environment, activities outside normal routine.

Sometimes, you could run into someone who still has a family relationship with you, but this person continuously bring negative and destructive effects on you and your family. In this situation, you could avoid this person and explain to other relatives why you do so. Keeping this person with you not only damage your emotional health, but also affect your abilities to serve those who still need your help. 

So, are you ready for this kind of marriage-family life? Again, this is something that you and your fiancé need to have a small talk while you are in a relationship ,before the marriage and more in depth after saying “I do.” While I agree with most of you that marriage preparation is exciting, I cautiously warn you to act wise and think big as you enter the real marriage life (post wedding reception). Good or bad is in your hands. So, please handle with care!

  
P.S this image is published on Instagram @1001diarycollections 
 

Marry your dreams

It’s not asking us to marry someone, but marry our dreams. It’s not telling us to rush getting into a loving relationship with someone. But, it tells us to take our dreams with us and make them happened. It tells us to fight for something that we believe is true and right. And to me, this phrase tells me that life is not just about me. It’s about us as a community. 

Think big! Marry your dreams and make them happened!

  
 p.s. This picture is also posted on Instagram @1001diarycollections 

10 advices for couples and married couples: Steps to healthy relationships 

Advices for those who are currently in serious and/or marriage relationship :

1. Refrain yourself from getting into physical and emotional abuse. If you know that your fiancé has a temper issue or any mental health issues, think and plan carefully before getting married. If you are already in the marriage relationship, seek for professional help to treat the core issues, e.g., marital counseling, family therapy. 

2. At any point in your life, you should not commit adultery and/or engage in any unfaithful behaviors. Being faithful to your spouse is a good example for your children. It’s also good for your everyday relationship with your friends and coworkers. 

3. You must learn to forgive each other and commit to your words or vows. Hatred could damage your physical and emotional health. 

4. Before you declare a divorce or separation, think about the long term effects of getting divorce. Children? Relatives? Work? 

5. Don’t fight in front of your children. Don’t let your children watch or hear your fight because it could lead to mental trauma for them. Fighting or getting into argument sometimes is unavoidable, but it is best to not do it around children. Solve the problem immediately and move on. 

6. Whenever possible, try to have a family vacation once a year or on periodic. Get out of normal routine, relax and spend time with your spouse and children. 

7. No matter how busy you are, try to have at least one family dinner/breakfast together. It’s good for everyone especially for children. 

8. Say “no” to gambling, drugs, and excessive alcohols because all of these could affect your relationship with your family and cause damage to your family income. 

9. Ask for professional help e.g., psychologists, family social workers, pastors, or psychiatrists when you deal with serious mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, caring for children with special needs. 

10. Meditate or have a quiet moment for reflection. Do it either in the morning or at night. Use this moment to think through and evaluate your behaviors or actions. Did I do well today? What am I going to do tomorrow? What are some other solutions for this matter? 

Our surroundings will be so much peaceful if each of us could practice these 10 advices.