Being a Woman

Sometimes, being an adult and is happened to be a woman is a hard task. Regardless of culture, the image of a woman is often associated with caretaker, mother, and housewife. Though most women now could get education and participate in the work field, they are still challenged with the local norms in terms of what they should or should not do. It seems that women need to work twice harder than men to prove that they are smart, brave, and have important life goals, too.  

Single adult women who share a house with parents and jobless probably lives their lives hearing people telling them either to get a job or marry a husband. 

Life is still somewhat challenging for single women, who still live with parents, but have their own job because people including family members demand them to marry a guy. Traditional culture like Asian, still think that a healthy adult woman should marry a healthy adult man to lead a family life, raise kids. One same problem among these single-jobless women and single-career women is that they need to get married. Will a marriage promise a lifetime happiness and wealth to these women? Maybe, these women need more time, maybe they want to focus on something else. So long as their actions or presences do not bother us, we need to keep our mind and business to ourselves. 

How about married women? Do they free of life issues? No, not really. Adult-married women who have jobs, but childless also face issues because people including relatives asking them why they still do not have kids, yet. It would be nice for us to not ask this particular question because we don’t know what they have been through. It would be nice if we say hello and ask about their days in general instead of asking when they will have kids or why there is no kids after x years of marriage. 

Married women, no job, have kids have their sorrow, too. People would criticize how skinny/fat the kids are, why home is dirty while they actually don’t work outside home. People will question them why kids’ school grades are low. Again, it would be nice if we practice refrain from saying mean things without really looking into the problem. 

Married women with a job and have kids with special needs suffer emotionally and still have to deal with people who blame them for the things that happened to the kid. Instead of pointing on their flaws, we could offer assistance to these women who have kids with special needs. 

Big take home messages from all of these are that we need to respect anyone whom we meet, refrain ourselves from saying things that could hurt others, always think before speak, and last but not least, women and men should share same responsibilities and work together to make a world more livable. 

To all women, have faith, persevere, and even things seem going against you, do not quit. So long as what you do is right and have good purposes, God will make the way. It may not happen instantly, but it will be beautiful in its time. 

Sow and Reap

Have no fears, my child.

Continue doing things that matter to you most. 

Remember that there’s no such easy freely life.

Look on the brighter side.

Pray when you feel uncertain, but don’t quit just because it’s hard to do it.

Keep in mind that what you sow is what you reap.

Have a faith, my child! 

Bridge in Marriage Relationship: How solid is your bridge?

To say “I love you,” one must learn to say “I am sorry” first. It’s difficult to say “sorry” when you feel that you are not doing anything wrong, but learning to say “sorry” though perhaps you are not 100% wrong, could save your relationship. Saying “sorry” first doesn’t mean you are weak, instead, it gives you and your spouse a chance to talk about the issues. The likelihood of both of you to have more fights about the same issues is high, if you don’t resolve these issues now. 

Of course, the best time to talk with your spouse is when both of you are not angry. Talking about the issues is the most important step of this conflict-resolution process. It is recommended to do this, as soon as the conflict/fight is over. 

People say having differences in a committed relationship is good because this means couple could complete one another. While I personally think this theory sounds true, I also believe that couple needs to have a solid “bridge” to connect their differences. Furthermore, this “bridge” should contain same goal, value, and faith in order to mend the differences. Goal refers to what you and your spouse want to achieve now and in the long run. Value refers to anything that you and your spouse think is important, for example, family time, education, stable job/career, etc. Faith refers to religious practice, for instance, are you and your spouse practice the same religion? Do any of you question the presence of God? Always look back on the foundation of this bridge when the differences in the relationship are getting wider. 

Fight or conflict in the relationship is unavoidable, but just like what marriage counselors often told us, this conflict could be solved together in the peaceful way. Couple needs to practice how to express their thoughts and concerns clearly and politely. They also need to think about their “bridge” in their relationship when they are in the process of solving their issues.