Bridge in Marriage Relationship: How solid is your bridge? 

To say “I love you,” one must learn to say “I am sorry” first. It’s difficult to say “sorry” when you feel that you are not doing anything wrong, but learning to say “sorry” though perhaps you are not 100% wrong, could save your relationship. Saying “sorry” first doesn’t mean you are weak, instead, it gives you and your spouse a chance to talk about the issues. The likelihood of both of you to have more fights about the same issues is high, if you don’t resolve these issues now. 

Of course, the best time to talk with your spouse is when both of you are not angry. Talking about the issues is the most important step of this conflict-resolution process. It is recommended to do this, as soon as the conflict/fight is over. 

People say having differences in a committed relationship is good because this means couple could complete one another. While I personally think this theory sounds true, I also believe that couple needs to have a solid “bridge” to connect their differences. Furthermore, this “bridge” should contain same goal, value, and faith in order to mend the differences. Goal refers to what you and your spouse want to achieve now and in the long run. Value refers to anything that you and your spouse think is important, for example, family time, education, stable job/career, etc. Faith refers to religious practice, for instance, are you and your spouse practice the same religion? Do any of you question the presence of God? Always look back on the foundation of this bridge when the differences in the relationship are getting wider. 

Fight or conflict in the relationship is unavoidable, but just like what marriage counselors often told us, this conflict could be solved together in the peaceful way. Couple need to practice how to express their thoughts and concerns clearly and politely. They also need to think about their “bridge” in their relationship when they are in the process of solving their issues. 

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