When Yellow Doesn’t Want to Look Mellow

I like to call my friend, Yellow, Yellow Mellow, because she is very emotional person. She will cry for tiny little things, such as when she gets a gift from her boyfriend.

This morning Yellow called and told me that she didn’t want to look and act mellow again. She asked me to come early today and wait for her at the school’s gate. I was speechless when I heard this. 

I waited for her outside the school’s gate. I saw her in a pink dress along with pink shoes and pink hair clips walking toward me. She even wore a pink lipstick and said “Hiiii” to everyone she passed by.  


Yellow approached me and kissed my right cheek. This was new, too.. She never kissed my cheek..

I blurted, “Hey, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, how do I look?” She twirled her hair and shook her pink dress in front of me.

“Err… Don’t you think this is too much?” 

She grinned and said “Nope.”

I asked, “Why do you suddenly don’t want to look mellow? It’s part of your personality….” 

Yellow sighed and said in teary eyes, “I searched for a part-time job last week. I saw an opening in the event production, and one of the requirements was that they look for a cheerful and energetic person. So, I thought I needed to get a complete makeover..”

I told Yellow that she should apply for that job despite of her mellow personality. The company is looking for qualities not outside appearance. I told her as long as she didn’t watch Korean drama series at work, she would be fine and no one would ever noticed her mellow personalities. Yellow laughed when she heard my comment. She cleaned her make up before entering classroom. Yellow is now back to her real self. She is a very talented person, but she doesn’t acknowledge it. Ever since then, I no longer call her Yellow Mellow because I don’t want her to think that having mellow personality is bad. You could be both smart and mellow at the same time. Instead, I call her Yellow Melon. Her nickname for me is Lemon Lemonade. When I asked her why, she said she likes how those two words sounded together. 

Something about Nightmare 

Have you ever had a nightmare and you wish you didn’t have it on the first place? I hate the kind of nightmare where I am involuntary separated from someone special in that dream. I don’t like hearing the word “death,” too, because I am not ready losing people who are close to me. So, a nightmare that is about one’s death is definitely not my preferred dream. 

I am told that everybody including me would die. Death is a part of the natural human’s life cycle. I should not be scared, right? But, it’s hard to not feel scared and worried. 

The nightmare kept me awake all night. It makes me feel nervous the next day because I am afraid what if the nightmare turns real. I am just not ready to be separated from someone who means the world to me. I am hoping to get answers. 

This morning, I sat on the church. The sermon talked how God loves us more than a mother loves her baby. The priest also told us to not be worry because God is merciful. And so, it came to my understanding that God owns our life, and He loves us dearly. Losing someone due to death is a sad thing, but it will not be a forever sad. Good thing will come up, like rainbow after rain. Don’t think it too hard, but knowing that it will happen and when it happens, God will make it beautiful in His ways. 

3L: Live your Life Lively 

3 is such a big number for me because number 3 is associated with the important events in my life. 

I moved back to my hometown after 3 years over 6 months working full time in a faraway land. It was a sad moment at that time. I definitely would like to stay in both places (faraway land and hometown) if I have an authority to make it happened. 

I realized after 3 years that I would not graduate from a friendship zone with Taxi Driver. It ended in a distant-no contact zone. I am no longer in the grieving stage and feel relieved that I am finally able to move beyond that stage. 

I have been trying to get into the specific training program 3x and is still on the pending status. I am thankful that they haven’t blocked my email or name from their server. 

As 2016 will end in two months, the beginning of 2017 will mark my 3 years work anniversary as a freelancer. My job is probably among the greatest achievement I ever had despite of life turbulence for the past two years and 11 months.  Although I am not paid that much, but the job itself is very rewarding. 

3 is also the length of time I have been in the reconnected-lost-reconnected-lost cycle with Doktor. We ended up choosing different paths, but, there’s always a possibility that our path will cross again. 

All in all, I have learned to “remove”people and revise life goals that I think no longer important to me. I also conclude that life is something that we have to deal day by day. It’s never been easy, but every action that we make on daily basis is always meaningful when we look at it from different angle. There are lots of books writing about life advices, but to me, God is the best life advisor.  

“When life gives you a lemon, make a lemonade.” 

6 Definitions of Love

Instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day every February 14, it would be great if we spread the culture that everyday is a Valentine’s Day. 

I also think we need to continuously teach and model for others what love truly is. Our words and actions should represent what love is, such as caring for one another and asking for forgiveness. Active discussion in topics related to love, such as almsgiving, happiness and family bonding will help us to understand when and how we should apply love in our daily lives. Again, love does not have to be a relationship between a male and female, it could be between parents and children, between friends and coworkers. We should spread more love than hate. Our world will be so much healthy if we practice love. 

Here’s my 6 definitions of what love is:

  1. Love is listening to each other without judging.
  2. Love is giving a surprise kiss on a cheek. 
  3. Love is saying “I am sorry” genuinely.
  4. Love is multiple acts of kindness and thankfulness.
  5. Love is 0% jealously 100% support.
  6. Love is seeing and acknowledging one’s true heart first, not physical appearance. 

Faith, hope, and love, and the greatest one is love.

p.s. This picture is also posted on 1001diarycollections in Instagram. 

A little girl with a fake pearl necklace 

This morning I read a story about a girl who refused to give her fake pearl necklace to her dad because she loved that necklace and felt that she worked hard to earn it. The story is ended with her finally giving that necklace to her dad and to her surprise, her dad already prepared a new real pearl necklace for her. Furthermore, the author also reminded readers the importance of letting go everything that is fake because God has prepared something good for us.

Just like that girl with a fake pearl necklace, I have a baggage that is full with things and/or people who simply are not worth to be considered or pursued. I insist to keep this heavy baggage which cause it hard for me to walk fast. 
The girl in the story preferred to lose other items, but not this fake necklace. Similarly, I give myself lots of excuse to let go certain things and people because I am afraid that I won’t be able to get back to the state where I’ve always thought it was a precious time. This fear hinders me from seeing and understanding perhaps that time wasn’t really precious. Greater thing is waiting in front of me. 

The girl suspected something was off because her dad asked her twice about that necklace. So, the next day when her dad approached her, she immediately gave that necklace to her dad. She was shocked when in return, her dad gave her a new necklace and this time a real pearl. While it did not take that long for the girl to realize, it took a while for me to slowly throw unnecessary things and/or people out from my luggage. I should have pick the cue fast, but I did not. Time, new people who live around me, my family, and other people’s stories have been helping me to pick the cues and connect the dots. 

The girl gets a new pearl necklace. Meanwhile, I learn to sort unnecessary stuff and use the available resources to make a brand new luggage. Bigger and stronger luggage. It won’t fall apart when someone throws it. It won’t break, although a thief tries to open it. 

I hope you are able to throw or bid farewell to things/persons/ habits that are fake and unhealthy to you. I understand it’s not easy, but I encourage you to try.


Getting wiser is a work in progress. It can’t be done in one night. I also think that getting older will not guarantee that one will become a wise person. The word “wiser” is defined as the ability to say, act, and evaluate situations from neutral, nonjudgemental standpoint of view. This also means that one needs to think thoroughly before speaking and to put his/her personal interests behind when needed. Getting wiser also means one’s ability to manage emotions and to not physically and/or emotionally attack another person when confrontation is occurred. 

Practice, practice, and practice is the key to get wiser from time to time. 
Are you practicing now?