I Love You Not 

I love you
Not
I love you 
Not
I love you
Not
I love you
Yes
I love you
Christmas tree

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Thanksgiving: Past, Present, and Gear up for 2018

Thanksgiving, which marks the beginning of the holiday season, always leave me with mixed feeling. This particular mixed feeling has been remained the same from time to time. It’s always the combination of happy because Christmas holiday is approaching and sad because this season reminds me of someone and something I have been wanting so much. Although the memories of past hope and love stay intact, time heals the wounds and disappointments. 

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the courage and mercy that God has been given to me. I surely could not make it this far without His kindness. It took a big courage to go back on track and build a strong foundation of a new life. I’ve learned that there is a beauty in every imperfect situation. This realization could and will happen when we acknowledge our weaknesses, ask for His guidance, and move forward. Once we move forward, we cannot look back on our past too often because we could forget what our goals are. 

We could look back on our past once we achieve at least 80% of our life goals. When we reach that point, we could compare and contrast, and then redefine our life purposes. 
Happy Thanksgiving!
Keep spreading the love because our world will remain and stay healthy when each of us share love with others

Love is Confident

Certain songs remind you of certain people and events. This happens to be true in my case. I listened to Piano Guys on Spotify earlier and as I was listening to their songs, my memories traveled back to my school years. The songs reminds me of the time when life was around job searching and idealizing the characteristics of good guy according to my standard. 

I met a fellow classmate during my school years who patiently accompanied and waited for me for 2 years. I enjoyed his company and we got along really well, but I was not able to say “yes” to him. I was in tears when he forbid good bye, but I told myself it was meant to be gone. I’ve always convince myself when the time is right, I would be able to say “yes” to the guy who proposes and/or initiates a further relationship with me. 

Years after that teary moment, I’ve missed some other critical love moments in which a family member was partially blaming me for not making a move. Work has been my savior during those periods of time. If I am perhaps unlucky in this love segment, I shouldn’t fail in my career. I could lose one, but not both. Thus, this has become my new life motto. 

Listening to Piano Guy’s songs made me to think and look back on what I have dreamed and wished in the past. The dream has always been love and career go hand-in-hand. I know for sure what I want to achieve in my work, and deep down, I know I choose the right profession. Similarly, I want the same feeling of confidence when it comes to love. I do not know when I will meet the right guy, but if the time is right and it is meant to be, I will meet that person, and so I will be able to say “yes” to him. 

Love is patient, pure, and confident. When the time is right, it will be beautiful. 

“Give it to God and Go to Sleep” 

I love hearing the phrase  Give it to God and go to sleep because it teaches me to let go and let God take control of my life. 

The phrase is also a reminder that God is our creator and thus, He is the one who has the power to make changes according to His will. 

Each of us carries our own “cross.” The word “cross” in this context means problem, worry, or illness. The more problem we have, the heavier our “cross” are. We could try so much, but at the end, we have to let God carry half of or perhaps the entire cross for us. The process of letting God to take control is tough because it demands us to fully trust God. It is easier for us to memorize Our Father prayer than to allow God to guide us.  

Little do we know that God could and will do amazing thing for us when we fully surrender to Him. 

So, will you give your “cross” to God and let Him handle it on behalf of you? 

You are My Home 

This is the second part of the “2gether is better than one.” The first story could be found on this blog, too. All names here are fictive

Gray Cloud’s condition has been stable and good for the past two years. This has made her felt relieved and thankful. She started classes in photography and journalism a few months ago. These fields are new to her, but she is excited to learn more from the experts in the field. 

Gray’s interests in photography and journalism started when she learned that she could be diagnosed with cancer. She would like to write her stories and take pictures of things that are mattered to her. Gray then started to create a personal blog. Most of her writing topics are around family, hope, and love. A few of them are fiction but the majority is opinion. If she could live long enough, she would like to interview cancer survivors as well as those who are struggle with cancer and share their stories with public. 

On another note, Sonny Sunshine has been supportive to her. Gray has been trying to detach herself from him because she is afraid that her presence will disrupt Sonny’s work. Sonny always accompanies her when she goes to see a doctor or to the lab. Gray was worried how she could repay Sonny’s kindness. Gray already liked Sonny when they met on the first time. She tried to get to know Sonny more at that time, though it appeared to her that Sonny had no interest to her. Now, she regrets it because she does not know how to “undo” their relationship. 

Mr. Gram, who is Gray’s teacher, knows that Gray has a strong interest in writing stories of cancer survivors. Mr. Gram offered her to join him to travel to London for 6 months to interview parents of children with serious medical diseases. He said this would be a good start for her. Gray wants to do this, but she doesn’t know how she would tell Sonny. 

Gray and Mr. Gram will leave for London tomorrow. Sonny has been out of town for a week and won’t return until the following week. Last night, Gray called his cell phone and informed him about her trip. Sonny did not like her idea. He said it would not be good for her health. Gray quietly listened to Sonny’s words. Gray then said, “Let me go because I will go back to you. I will take care of myself. You could use the next 6 months to focus on your work and enjoy your life a little bit. I am sorry that I cause you a burden. I should not have approached you last time. I did not foresee that I would get sick. I promise I will be okay. I will return here because you are my home.” 

Sonny knew he couldn’t do that much since he was far from her. He could only wish her a safe trip. With that said, Gray is off to London the next day. 

Sally and Willy Tie the Knot

The first two parts of this fictional story were written in Bahasa Indonesia and were published on the community writer platform (idntimes community) under the titles “Sally dan Kisah Cintanya di New York” (Sally and her love story in New York) and “Sally dan Tetangga Dokternya: from New York to Atlanta” (Sally and her neighbor: from Atlanta to New York). This is the third part of the stories. You could access the previous two stories on: https://www.idntimes.com/wieke-sutrisno 

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Sally met Willy, who was her next-door neighbor two years ago, in Atlanta. Sally is a wedding planner, and the only reason she moved to Atlanta because her boss offered her higher position and salary. Willy, on the other hand, is a medical doctor. He moved to Atlanta with his brother who is also a doctor. It all started with lunch and dinner appointments that turned into dating relationship. Willy asked her out on Christmas Eve while they were in New York for vacation. Their friends referred them as a workaholic couple because they spent more times at their own work than being together as a couple. Both Sally and Willy are forefront believers that so long as there is a trust and mutual understanding between them, even if work situation is busy, their relationship will remain the same. They even argued that they looked forward to seeing each other after long hours at work or after being separated for a few weeks due to work load. 

Last year, Willy had to move back to New York for their medical practice, and this means the time they could spend together is getting shorter and rare. Although some close friends warned them about the challenges of long distance relationship, Sally and Willy never thought so much about it.  Willy traveled to Atlanta to spend time with Sally whenever he could. Similarly, Sally would go to New York every major holiday and when she could get longer off days. Thus far, this arrangement has been working really well. 

Neither Sally nor Willy planned to upgrade their relationship status. However, close friends and families urged them to make their relationship official and legal. Willy took neutral position in this matter. Sally was rather anxious, and the reason was because there is a huge age gap between them. Sally is four years older than Willy. Sally’s relatives frowned when they learned that she dates Willy. Although Willy has been convincing her that age has no issues or whatsoever in their relationship, Sally is still not sure how this will turn out in the long run. Willy is secretly planning on proposing her. 

The proposal day is arrived, and that day falls on Willy’s birthday. Sally flies out to New York to celebrate Willy’s birthday. Sally booked a dinner at a fancy restaurant near Lincoln Art Center. Sally plans to watch Jazz after dinner, but Willy insists that they need to visit other places. Sally is surprised when Willy takes her to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Willy says, “I asked you out after attending Christmas mass. The church we went last time is already closed now. This church is still open, and so here inside this church, I want to tell you how important you are in my life. I know you are concerned with our age differences, but let me tell you again, here in the presence of God, at His house, that a good marriage is not solely based on age. A good marriage is mutual understanding and continuous effort between two loving persons. So, again, don’t worry so much about that. Here in this church, I ask you to be my lifetime partner, to stay beside me, and to cherish every moment. Life is unpredictable but my love to you remains the same. I am a doctor, so if you are too old and fragile to care for yourself, I could take care of you. So, are you in?”

Sally remains quiet. She doesn’t know what to respond. Willy says, “My little thinker, thank goodness you are not a doctor, because your patient could die when you are their doctor. You think too long and far.” 

Sally responds to him, “Shut up!” and laugh. She then says, “Fine, I am in.”

“There you go, what it so hard to say yes.”

They both laugh and spend a few minutes at the church before heading home. Instead of giving Sally a ring, Willy gives Sally a necklace with a key pendant. The key symbolizes how he finally could un-tie the knots inside Sally’s heart. 

They both set the wedding date on December 26, 2 days after their anniversary. The wedding is small and attended by close friends and family members. The wedding color-theme is tiffany-blue color because Sally likes Tiffany and Willy likes blue color. Guests compliment how pretty Sally is on her wedding day. Her look and style remind them of late Princess Grace from Monaco. Willy looks gorgeous on his tuxedo. He gets butterflies on his stomach as he watches Sally entering the church, walking toward him. 

When Yellow Doesn’t Want to Look Mellow

I like to call my friend, Yellow, Yellow Mellow, because she is very emotional person. She will cry for tiny little things, such as when she gets a gift from her boyfriend.

This morning Yellow called and told me that she didn’t want to look and act mellow again. She asked me to come early today and wait for her at the school’s gate. I was speechless when I heard this. 

I waited for her outside the school’s gate. I saw her in a pink dress along with pink shoes and pink hair clips walking toward me. She even wore a pink lipstick and said “Hiiii” to everyone she passed by.  

Whoa!! 

Yellow approached me and kissed my right cheek. This was new, too.. She never kissed my cheek..

I blurted, “Hey, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, how do I look?” She twirled her hair and shook her pink dress in front of me.

“Err… Don’t you think this is too much?” 

She grinned and said “Nope.”

I asked, “Why do you suddenly don’t want to look mellow? It’s part of your personality….” 

Yellow sighed and said in teary eyes, “I searched for a part-time job last week. I saw an opening in the event production, and one of the requirements was that they look for a cheerful and energetic person. So, I thought I needed to get a complete makeover..”

I told Yellow that she should apply for that job despite of her mellow personality. The company is looking for qualities not outside appearance. I told her as long as she didn’t watch Korean drama series at work, she would be fine and no one would ever noticed her mellow personalities. Yellow laughed when she heard my comment. She cleaned her make up before entering classroom. Yellow is now back to her real self. She is a very talented person, but she doesn’t acknowledge it. Ever since then, I no longer call her Yellow Mellow because I don’t want her to think that having mellow personality is bad. You could be both smart and mellow at the same time. Instead, I call her Yellow Melon. Her nickname for me is Lemon Lemonade. When I asked her why, she said she likes how those two words sounded together.