Secret Admirer

Years ago, my guy friend introduced me to his good-looking roommate, who was still in graduate school at that time. His appearance looked friendly and what I liked best from him was his eyes. I even secretly told my girl friend how cute he was, but too bad I was too old for him. I decided to follow him on a social media after that meeting. 

I did not have any direct interaction with him ever since that first meeting, but I started to get a sense about his personalities through his social media account. It’s interesting how sometimes we could guess or draw conclusion on one’s personalities based on that person’s social media account. It appears to me that he loves his family, likes to read books, and drinks lots of coffee. As I followed his updates, I thought how strange and interesting this guy was. He built a startup in the digital media/news field a few years ago. His mission is to educate young generations through his digital news platform. I slowly began to admire his passion as I continued to follow his startup journey. If I could sit and have a cup of coffee with him, I would ask what he was thinking when he decided to launch his digital news startup company. Did he ever get challenged by his family members or close friends? Maybe, I should write my lists of questions for him. Who knows maybe, I will have a conversation with him. 

Secret Admirer

Dear Doktor

Dear Doktor,

Thank you for bringing “sun” when my heart was “cloudy” and got too much rain. Thank you for helping me to get through the days when no one was around. I miss you when you are not around, but I am excited for your future career path. Don’t give up Doktor because I have a faith in you! 
Warm regards,

Your mellow friend 

Dear Doktor

Too good to be true

I’ve always doubt with the power of love in the context of dating and/or marriage relationship. I even thought 99% of perfect-happy marriage relationship is too good to be true, and if someone has that percentage, that’s awesome! If you are into marriage relationship, I strongly suggest you to fully commit in the relationship from the beginning (when you are still dating) until the end, not just half of the relationship. If you aren’t sure, just steer clear from it. 

My doubt is derived from a series of observation. I’ve come to understand that once couple is officially married and later have children, their status is moved from married couple to marriage-family life. This new status is no longer about two responsible adults living under the same roof. This status requires them to actively maintain their relationships with multiple people (children, siblings, in-laws, grandparents, cousins, etc). The process in maintaining this complex relationship could be joyful for some couples, but it could be overwhelming or exhausting for other couples.

I suggest you to always have a positive thinking to maintain neutral- positive relationship within and outside your inner family. Remember, it’s start with you first! Then, you need to prioritize the well being of your inner family members above anything else, meaning you take a good care of your family, those who live in your house and have direct family relationship with you. Socializing with relatives in the form of dinner and/or group vacation on frequent or yearly basis is always good idea. The key of this socialization is to create stress-free environment, activities outside normal routine.

Sometimes, you could run into someone who still has a family relationship with you, but this person continuously bring negative and destructive effects on you and your family. In this situation, you could avoid this person and explain to other relatives why you do so. Keeping this person with you not only damage your emotional health, but also affect your abilities to serve those who still need your help. 

So, are you ready for this kind of marriage-family life? Again, this is something that you and your fiancé need to have a small talk while you are in a relationship ,before the marriage and more in depth after saying “I do.” While I agree with most of you that marriage preparation is exciting, I cautiously warn you to act wise and think big as you enter the real marriage life (post wedding reception). Good or bad is in your hands. So, please handle with care!

  
P.S this image is published on Instagram @1001diarycollections 
 

Too good to be true

A letter to my future husband 

Dear my future husband,
I don’t know how you look, but I think you have a decent appearance. The wise said look at the inner beauty, not the outer beauty. 
I don’t know when and where I will meet you, but I know when the time is right we shall meet. I know that for sure. 

Maybe we have known each other, but we don’t really talk. Maybe you are a stranger to me. Regardless, when we meet, it’s going to be a new introduction and a new chapter for us.

I can’t promise anything to you other than I will try at my best to keep our relationship going, and I hope you do the same thing. There will be time when I accidentally raise my voice when I talk to you, and when that happens, please remind me. Also, when I suddenly distance myself from you, it’s not because I hate you, but because I need to think and solve something. I will ask for help when I need help. 

My hope for you is that there won’t be infidelity between us. I want you to love and enjoy what you do for a living. I prefer genuine actions to sweet talking. Last but not least, I hope you place our relationship and/or family above any other activities.

If there is no such a perfect marriage/family relationship, I hope we have 99.9% perfect relationship.

From,

Your future wife 

A letter to my future husband