Love is Confident

Certain songs remind you of certain people and events. This happens to be true in my case. I listened to Piano Guys on Spotify earlier and as I was listening to their songs, my memories traveled back to my school years. The songs reminds me of the time when life was around job searching and idealizing the characteristics of good guy according to my standard. 

I met a fellow classmate during my school years who patiently accompanied and waited for me for 2 years. I enjoyed his company and we got along really well, but I was not able to say “yes” to him. I was in tears when he forbid good bye, but I told myself it was meant to be gone. I’ve always convince myself when the time is right, I would be able to say “yes” to the guy who proposes and/or initiates a further relationship with me. 

Years after that teary moment, I’ve missed some other critical love moments in which a family member was partially blaming me for not making a move. Work has been my savior during those periods of time. If I am perhaps unlucky in this love segment, I shouldn’t fail in my career. I could lose one, but not both. Thus, this has become my new life motto. 

Listening to Piano Guy’s songs made me to think and look back on what I have dreamed and wished in the past. The dream has always been love and career go hand-in-hand. I know for sure what I want to achieve in my work, and deep down, I know I choose the right profession. Similarly, I want the same feeling of confidence when it comes to love. I do not know when I will meet the right guy, but if the time is right and it is meant to be, I will meet that person, and so I will be able to say “yes” to him. 

Love is patient, pure, and confident. When the time is right, it will be beautiful. 

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Us and Kids, We are Family

Asking a child to choose a mom over a dad or vice versa is like asking someone whether he needs to breathe or not. The child may struggle to answer this type of question because he/she wants both. Similarly, parent could not tell the child something like, “You stay with Dad and I take your brother/sister,” because the child does not want to be separated from his/her siblings. It is understandable that parents face daily challenges, and there are times family life is just tough. Sometimes and perhaps often, children are suffered the most due to tough family life situations, such as divorce, infidelity, poverty, etc. However, it is unwise to put children in difficult position while you as a parent knows that the problem could be solved between husband and wife. 

Parenting and marriage are two different topics but are interconnected. When you decide to commit in a marriage, you should aim both for happy marriage and successful parenting. These two topics must be discussed seriously before you say “I do” and after you both say “I do.” It is also important to practice being unselfish because once the child is present in the family, roles and lifestyles need to be adjusted.  

I’ve always believed that it is a privilege to be a parent. If you are a parent, I want you to know how precious your job is. Not everyone could become a parent. Some people struggle to have children. Some people either too sick or too old to conceive a child. So, if you are a parent, I want you to treasure your journey. Raising children is exhausted, but it is rewarding. Your children will always remember the time you have spent together because memory is irreplaceable. Therefore, even if a family life is under “turbulence” tries at your best to control the situation in the peaceful way so that they will not get traumatized due to that event. Family is the first and foremost child’s life experience. It shapes child’s personalities which will continue to grow as the child gets older. Family life and every little experience in the family influence how the child sees the world and him/herself. All of these become a foundation in the child’s overall social and emotional development. When the foundation is healthy and solid, the child will grow healthy and thus could become a responsible citizen. 

Will you do it? 

Mother’s Unconditional Love

It has been a pleasure on my part to share with mothers both the joy and worries of raising children. I am far from being a mother, but I always have a special spot for any mothers who love their children unconditionally, including my own Mama. My definition of unconditional love is to care for and provide healthy learning opportunities for a child to grow to be a better- responsible person. 

This definition of unconditional love is ingrained in my mind and so, it breaks my heart when I learn that a mother has to fight against cancer, so that she could continue to provide care for her children. It makes me think what could have been done to prevent this from happening. It also makes me think what if I am in her shoes, or what if something is happened to my own Mama. I understand that sometimes event like illness happens unexpectedly. Saying “it would be okay” to a sick mother would not truly comfort her. Acknowledging her pain and worries, and at the same time saying “you could do it, you could survive, and let’s pray” sounds possible and likable. Offering help such as picking up her children from school or taking the children out for outing could relieve some of the burden. Of course you could help something else, the lists are endless. The point is to do it genuinely and with a big heart. 

Above anything else, even if you are a mother or a father now, you need to always love and respect your parents especially mother. It’s because regardless of race and culture, mother is the person who has been longing for us long before we were placed in her womb and continued to care for us even after we left her womb. Events such as death and illness are unavoidable, but reciprocal unconditional love between mother and child could cure any pain and sorrow. Their spirits are up when they know that we love them as dearly as they love us. 

The Complexity of Parents and Children Relationship 

Parents and children often think differently. What parents want from the child may not be the child’s preference. Likewise, culture also influences how parents raise their children and put expectation on them. All of these get tricky as the child gets older. It will even more challenging when the child grows up in a culture that is different from his/her original culture. Argument or clash could arise because the child has a different point of view from his/her parents. Both sides will argue that they are doing the right things. Both sides want to win. 

On another note, children still and should respect their parents even though they have disagreement over things. This is tough, but children must continue to exercise putting effort to adjust and negotiate with their parents in order to reduce argument. Family relationship is complicated and tough. It takes everyone’s effort to maintain equilibrium.

Life is good when one could manage both family and work life in the most neutral and healthy ways. Can you do it? 

What is your ideal spouse? 

When I was young, I wanted to marry a prince charming.

When I was 15, I said I wanted to marry an architect because he could build me a nice house.

When I was 19, I wanted to marry a guy with a job and stable income.

When I was 25, I wanted to marry a guy with a job, stable income, but also someone who would travel near and far with me. 

Now, I simply want to live with reliable and financially stable guy who share similar passion and dream. 

The list could go on and on. The ideal spouse is the one who could adapt to various life-challenging situations and still love you just the way you are.

Something about Nightmare 

Have you ever had a nightmare and you wish you didn’t have it on the first place? I hate the kind of nightmare where I am involuntary separated from someone special in that dream. I don’t like hearing the word “death,” too, because I am not ready losing people who are close to me. So, a nightmare that is about one’s death is definitely not my preferred dream. 

I am told that everybody including me would die. Death is a part of the natural human’s life cycle. I should not be scared, right? But, it’s hard to not feel scared and worried. 

The nightmare kept me awake all night. It makes me feel nervous the next day because I am afraid what if the nightmare turns real. I am just not ready to be separated from someone who means the world to me. I am hoping to get answers. 

This morning, I sat on the church. The sermon talked how God loves us more than a mother loves her baby. The priest also told us to not be worry because God is merciful. And so, it came to my understanding that God owns our life, and He loves us dearly. Losing someone due to death is a sad thing, but it will not be a forever sad. Good thing will come up, like rainbow after rain. Don’t think it too hard, but knowing that it will happen and when it happens, God will make it beautiful in His ways.