Last month, I was shocked by the news of the sudden death of someone whom my family knew very well. He has always been a good person in my eyes, so I was completely surprised to learn that I would not be able to see him again. Thinking about his children even made me feeling sadder. I hoped his children could handle this situation well because I could imagine how scary it would be for them to continue their lives after their father’s death.
Four years ago, my Dad was hospitalized for a week, and throughout that week, I cried on and off. It never crossed my mind that my parents could leave me alone in this world permanently. That one time event has changed my point of view about life and specifically preparing life after someone’s death.
Events, such as serious illness and death are not the things that I specifically receive in school. Thanks to age and maturity, I learned to understand these events wisely. Out of the things that I read and heard from people, getting over the regret feeling is the hardest one. Too often, we do things without thinking of the consequences, only later we regret from not doing it the way we should be. I’ve heard so much from relatives how sorry they were from not taking time to listen and spend time with their loved ones while they were still alive.
This new understanding has then shaped the way I interact with my parents and do my everyday activities. I started to pay attention to my parents’ health and do extra miles in my own way to ease their burden. Of course, we still have disagreements here and there, but I have done at my best to make things better for them, as possible as I could. Likewise, in my own personal life, I learn to not take things too personally. I also learn to always think pros and cons before saying and explaining something to clients. Definitely, I have more things to do while I am still alive, and I try to do each of it with genuine heart. This is because I don’t want to feel bad later on. It is because I understand that life is precious and so I must use it wisely.
May 3 marks my parents’ 37th wedding anniversary. 37 is a big number for them and for our entire family, because it takes so much love, pray, forgiveness and healthy mind to be able to lead a life as a husband and wife in today’s dynamic society.
I have learned from their marriage is that the continuity and strength of our family is built based on a teamwork between parents and children. This means that each of us has a responsibility to keep up with every tiny aspect in our family, whether it is a happy or sad moment and to try at our best to keep our family together.
I have also learned that the acts of verbally saying “I love you sweetheart” between married couple is not enough. They need to do more than that because the reality of marriage life involves acceptance, support, fidelity, forgiveness, finance, and the ability to move forward as a team of husband and wife. Putting this together, we could picture an image of husband and wife as ship’s captains with children as crews, together they sail and conquer the sea.
Now that 37 years have passed, my prayer to them and to our family is that we continue to support each other and lead a simple healthy life. I also pray that each of us continue to learn let go of grudges and forgive more and enjoy the moment.
There are times I feel tired and want to quit, but those tiny eyes that looked at me in awe, said something else. From the way they look at me, they want to say that I should not quit. Words may not come out from them, but eyes could talk.
I always believe that it is God’s grace that has made me doing things I have been doing all these years. I know it must be Him that brings me to this point. It is through the work that I do, that I learn to slow my pace and read the silent cue.
Thus, the moment I feel weak and tired, He constantly reminds me to keep moving forward. He does this through the children with whom I work. Small things matter. We celebrate small progress, because we hope to see more progress coming out from these children.
Be thankful for what you already have. Celebrate life because we do not know what is going to happen in the future. Appreciate those who have been with you through good and bad times. Pray hard whether you are happy or sad. Pray more when life storm hits you from all directions. Love your children regardless of their conditions. They know how you feel. They could feel whether you genuinely love them or not. Believe that nurture wins nature. If you have both, it’s good, but if nature isn’t that good, nurture them so that they could be useful when they are older.
I miss my faraway land.
The land where I found my passion.
The land where I found my love.
Oh, faraway land!
I know you are far from me.
But, you are close to my heart.
I surely come back.
Soon I will see you.
I would love to come back when things are settled here.
My faraway land.
Wait for me.
February 2 has left a bittersweet memory on me. It was the day I met Taxi Driver for the first time. No matter how hard I have tried to forget that day, the memory still come back to me every year starting in late December until February. I gradually learn and accept that this date, (maybe), is as important as my birthday partly because I cannot forget it.
Have you ever heard a phrase “We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our paths for a reason”? My encounter with Taxi Driver 5 years ago definitely has a positive reason down the road. I create this blog (1001 diarycollections) and IG account because of him. Thus, one day, when I could meet him in person, I will thank him because our encounter have inspired me to write stories. I don’t know his whereabouts, but I always wish him well wherever he goes.
**Picture source: personal file. Location: New York.
“I don’t know what I look for” was the phrase that I often said when I went out for shopping, as well as when I was supposed to write articles. I felt overwhelmed with the options and information presented in front of me during the searching process. While I could choose to search for specific items later, I couldn’t postpone the latter task because a group of people wait for those information. How would I solve this? Re-evaluating the original topics was the answer.
Through reevaluating the original topic, I learned that my original topic or you could call it, a hypothesis, was either too broad or too complicated. The process of gathering information was quick and smooth once I simplified the and changed the focus. Knowing who the audience is also important because I wanted to ensure that my information would be easily grasped and understood. I started to write the summary of my finding after I had all the information that I needed. This would be my draft, and I did not expect it to be perfect right away. I usually read it over and made a few editing before I submitted it. Whenever possible, I would ask someone else to review my writing. This could be friends or co-workers. If you have an editor to work with you, the editor would provide feedback.
Having a clear-specific goal definitely ease the data collection process which then make the writing process a lot easier. By sharing these tips, I hope each of you would find writing activity is neither scary nor overwhelming. The valuable reward of your effort is knowing that the article that you wrote benefits people.
Thanksgiving, which marks the beginning of the holiday season, always leave me with mixed feeling. This particular mixed feeling has been remained the same from time to time. It’s always the combination of happy because Christmas holiday is approaching and sad because this season reminds me of someone and something I have been wanting so much. Although the memories of past hope and love stay intact, time heals the wounds and disappointments.
This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the courage and mercy that God has been given to me. I surely could not make it this far without His kindness. It took a big courage to go back on track and build a strong foundation of a new life. I’ve learned that there is a beauty in every imperfect situation. This realization could and will happen when we acknowledge our weaknesses, ask for His guidance, and move forward. Once we move forward, we cannot look back on our past too often because we could forget what our goals are.
We could look back on our past once we achieve at least 80% of our life goals. When we reach that point, we could compare and contrast, and then redefine our life purposes.
Keep spreading the love because our world will remain and stay healthy when each of us share love with others.
That’s how my days look like lately
I love busy bees
It eases unwanted memories
It makes time go faster than usual
You make my head dizzy
Buzz buzz the sounds ring in my ears
Not long, not too long
This shall pass
Certain songs remind you of certain people and events. This happens to be true in my case. I listened to Piano Guys on Spotify earlier and as I was listening to their songs, my memories traveled back to my school years. The songs reminds me of the time when life was around job searching and idealizing the characteristics of good guy according to my standard.
I met a fellow classmate during my school years who patiently accompanied and waited for me for 2 years. I enjoyed his company and we got along really well, but I was not able to say “yes” to him. I was in tears when he forbid good bye, but I told myself it was meant to be gone. I’ve always convince myself when the time is right, I would be able to say “yes” to the guy who proposes and/or initiates a further relationship with me.
Years after that teary moment, I’ve missed some other critical love moments in which a family member was partially blaming me for not making a move. Work has been my savior during those periods of time. If I am perhaps unlucky in this love segment, I shouldn’t fail in my career. I could lose one, but not both. Thus, this has become my new life motto.
Listening to Piano Guy’s songs made me to think and look back on what I have dreamed and wished in the past. The dream has always been love and career go hand-in-hand. I know for sure what I want to achieve in my work, and deep down, I know I choose the right profession. Similarly, I want the same feeling of confidence when it comes to love. I do not know when I will meet the right guy, but if the time is right and it is meant to be, I will meet that person, and so I will be able to say “yes” to him.
Love is patient, pure, and confident. When the time is right, it will be beautiful.
Yellow is very mellow today.
Work has made her feel exhausted, but she loves her work.
Her work is her identity.
Dilemma… dilemma and dilemma.
No need to be so mellow.
No need to be worried.
Cast your fear my dear Yellow.