Something about Nightmare 

Have you ever had a nightmare and you wish you didn’t have it on the first place? I hate the kind of nightmare where I am involuntary separated from someone special in that dream. I don’t like hearing the word “death,” too, because I am not ready losing people who are close to me. So, a nightmare that is about one’s death is definitely not my preferred dream. 

I am told that everybody including me would die. Death is a part of the natural human’s life cycle. I should not be scared, right? But, it’s hard to not feel scared and worried. 

The nightmare kept me awake all night. It makes me feel nervous the next day because I am afraid what if the nightmare turns real. I am just not ready to be separated from someone who means the world to me. I am hoping to get answers. 

This morning, I sat on the church. The sermon talked how God loves us more than a mother loves her baby. The priest also told us to not be worry because God is merciful. And so, it came to my understanding that God owns our life, and He loves us dearly. Losing someone due to death is a sad thing, but it will not be a forever sad. Good thing will come up, like rainbow after rain. Don’t think it too hard, but knowing that it will happen and when it happens, God will make it beautiful in His ways. 

A Ferris Wheel 

Daddy has been telling me about his friends who used to be rich and success, but they lost everything due to unfortunate events, such as gambling, corruption and fraud. He specifically used a term “Ferris wheel” to describe one’s socioeconomical status. He said his friends who were used to be rich and sit on the top of the wheel, now are on the bottom of the wheel. Those who previously on the lower or bottom of the wheel, now are sitting on the top because of their good-hard work.  

He continues to advise me to work diligently, save, and use money wisely due to this matter. I understand his fears and worries. I understand he and mom and just like any other parents want to see their kids live healthy, happy and sufficiently. I don’t promise anything to him and Mom, but I want to show them that I could live good enough to support myself. After all, it’s my responsibility to show them that they already prepared me with plenty resources and it is my turn to use those resources wisely. 

Who Am I?

Who am I?

I am just a woman living in the small town.
Who am I?
I am just a young adult who works hard to make a living. 
Who am I?
I am a teacher who is always strived for making positive changes in my students’ lives. 
Who am I?
I am a philanthropist wannabe who wants to leave a legacy in my hometown.
Who am I? 
I am a lifelong learner who believes that learning has no boundaries, and that through learning I could share my knowledge with others who need it. 
Who am I?
I am just a human who is not free from mistakes, yet I am trying at my best to do better the next day. 


Reflection: Like and Love

How long do you think you could like someone while the other person is not reciprocating your feeling? A month? A year? Is there an expiration date for this matter? 

How do you differentiate “like” from “love?” Ideally, you have to like that person first before you love that person. What if you can’t really tell whether you like or love this person? 
There’s a word of wisdom that states if you truly love someone, you are able to set that person free. Let’s say, you set this person free. Will you still feel a heartache every time you see that person hangs out with others while you can’t? The ideal answer is no, but what if yes? You could then ask about the “quantity” of the heartache. If you truly set this person free, your heartache should be decreased (e.g., from 100% heartache to 25% heartache and hopefully to 0% heartache). 

Another word of wisdom says that you can’t make another person fall in love with you. Yet, others say that love can’t develop instantly. It is built over time. Which word of wisdom are you going to choose? There’s no exact science rule for this. Use your best judgement, but do it with a big heart. 

So, going back to the first question. There is perhaps a possibility that you could still like that person even if this person doesn’t like you. Depending on your personal nature, there is a huge possibility that liking someone has no expiration date, and definitely there is NO expiration date in loving someone. 


Life is ironic and interesting. What you want is not always what you get. However, that thing/person/moment that you wanted to avoid or reject is actually the best one in your life. It’s a part of your life cycle that you have to go through. This understanding or realization is not happening instantly. It takes time to accept and proceed to the next step. And when this realization hits you, you see that particular event or situation from different perspective.