What is your ideal spouse? 

When I was young, I wanted to marry a prince charming.

When I was 15, I said I wanted to marry an architect because he could build me a nice house.

When I was 19, I wanted to marry a guy with a job and stable income.

When I was 25, I wanted to marry a guy with a job, stable income, but also someone who would travel near and far with me. 

Now, I simply want to live with reliable and financially stable guy who share similar passion and dream. 

The list could go on and on. The ideal spouse is the one who could adapt to various life-challenging situations and still love you just the way you are.

What is your ideal spouse? 

Flower Bouquet 

Flowers mean romantic.

A bouquet of fresh flowers is fantastic.

Flower bouquet, delivered at the front door, means someone is missing you. 

Dear, oh, dear, thank you for the flowers.

It absolutely brightens my day.

I prefer to see you holding flower bouquet outside my door. 

Cause your presence lifts up my fears. 

Flower Bouquet 

Relationship Status 

What’s your relationship status?

Single? Married? Divorced? 

I prefer to not have a relationship status.

I prefer to be a free spirit. 

A relationship status is just words typed on an ID card.

It won’t take me anywhere.

Instead, a good soul with a big heart take me to places.

Status is just a system created by our society. 

What matters the most is how each of us behaves in our family and society. 

Relationship Status 

A letter to my future husband 

Dear my future husband,
I don’t know how you look, but I think you have a decent appearance. The wise said look at the inner beauty, not the outer beauty. 
I don’t know when and where I will meet you, but I know when the time is right we shall meet. I know that for sure. 

Maybe we have known each other, but we don’t really talk. Maybe you are a stranger to me. Regardless, when we meet, it’s going to be a new introduction and a new chapter for us.

I can’t promise anything to you other than I will try at my best to keep our relationship going, and I hope you do the same thing. There will be time when I accidentally raise my voice when I talk to you, and when that happens, please remind me. Also, when I suddenly distance myself from you, it’s not because I hate you, but because I need to think and solve something. I will ask for help when I need help. 

My hope for you is that there won’t be infidelity between us. I want you to love and enjoy what you do for a living. I prefer genuine actions to sweet talking. Last but not least, I hope you place our relationship and/or family above any other activities.

If there is no such a perfect marriage/family relationship, I hope we have 99.9% perfect relationship.

From,

Your future wife 

A letter to my future husband 

Happy Married Life: what you/we need to know 

What does a happy married life look like? I ask because I witness unhappy married life and wonder if it is ever existed. If for some reason, there is no such 100% happy marriage, I would like to watch or see how 99% happy marriage looks like. 

According to Ashley Bush, a psychotherapist, “A happy marriage has two people who love each other very much and are committed to bringing out the best in each other.” For instance, if your partner is struggling with an issue at work, you listen to them, talk about the situation and ask how you can support them, she said. “You basically have each other’s back.”

Well, I don’t have real exact answer, but I found these 2 articles (see the links below), which sort of telling me the answer. I also learned a few of those tips as suggested by the two authors through my graduate-level courses. I think it all comes back to the couple. Maybe, this type of lesson should be introduced in the high school and review again in the college and premarital counseling. Therefore, people will think twice or perhaps 1000 times before committing in married life. 

Thank you for reading! 

Resource: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4823414

7 Small & Simple Habits for a Happy Marriage

Happy Married Life: what you/we need to know 

The effect of falling in love with someone 

Expecting someone to reciprocate your love feeling is impossible mostly because the person has no special feeling about you. Yet, you are not fully able to move beyond this person after so many years. 
People say time will heal the “wounds” or disappointment. Other say don’t think too much about this person, keep yourself busy. Yet, the image of this person still pops out, as soon as you open your eyes or just before you sleep. You still think about this person here and there.  

 Falling in love is a complicated process for some people. A process that initially you don’t ask or expect, but when it strikes you, the effect lasts longer than you could imagine. But, please don’t be afraid to fall in love with someone, because life is dull without love, laughter, and hug. 

  
**p.s. This written piece is appeared on the @1001diarycollections on Instagram 

The effect of falling in love with someone 

Single/in relationship/married

I have been wondering for some time whether it is necessary to commit in a relationship and/or a marriage. I want to know if there is a guideline that could help us to think through before saying “I do,” as well as to determine whether we are on the right relationship. 

I googled “what adults should know before committing in a relationship” and it gave me bunch of lists, but only a few that caught my attention. Two articles are from the Huffington Post and one article is from the Frisky. I found common topics as I read these articles. The first one is to know more about your boy/girlfriend. There should be no fake behaviors between you and your boy/girlfriend. This is because you will live under the same roof and share things. 

The second one is to have a clear communication. No guessing, such as, “he should have known to give me a flower bouquet on my birthday.” Practicing I statement is crucial whether you are in the relationship or in the married life. For example, it is recommended to say, “I don’t like when you yell at me in front of my co-workers” instead of remaining silent but then holding a grudge.

The third topic is to know your boy/girlfriend’s life goals. If his/her life goals or perspectives are different from yours, and you think that will cause a trouble in the future, you may want to think twice whether you should continue the relationship. One example that I hear often is about religion/faith. For instance, the guy is Catholic and the lady is Buddhist. The lady has no intention to convert her religion. The guy, on the other hand, is wishing to raise kids in the Catholic family. This kind of topic needs to be addressed earlier on in the relationship, not a few weeks before the big day. Another example is relocation. The couple works and lives in two different towns. The guy likes his job and the town. The lady likes her job, too and she does not want to move. Unless one of them is sincerely willing to relocate, this couple may need to discuss about their relationship status. 

One thing that strikes me most after reading these three articles is that you need to know how your boy/girlfriend behave around his/her family. As James Lingerfelt pointed out in his article, “9 questions to ask before committing in a relationship,” you may want to observe and/or get to know more about his/her family. He brings good point here because one’s personalities are often shaped by his/her years of interaction with their family members. If your family emphasizes the use of formal-polite language when speaking with the elderly, but then you see that your boy/girlfriend often speaks harsh to his/her parent, you may want to address this behavior because he/she will be part of your family members, too. 

Basically there is no need to rush to commit in a relationship and/or a marriage. I understand that sometimes we feel pressured because our friends are engaged or are getting married, or perhaps family urges us to find a husband or wife. However, you also need to think that you will be the one who will experience it, and so it is crucial to choose your spouse wisely. I hope this article will help you to decide your next step. 

Sources: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5924554

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5213560

http://www.thefrisky.com/2008-06-20/the-relationship-novice-five-things-to-know-before-committing/ 

Single/in relationship/married